I am a fledgling communications consultant and I love my job. But the people I (want to) work for – project heads, comms leads, CEOs and marketing managers – hardly ever take into consideration that communications is a product of (science + skill + experience). Consultants are viewed as a catch-all solution for every which problem. And that’s not all …they are expected to instantly come up with a menu of solutions, and wait for the financial decision-makers to take their pick. In a field mired by such pedestrian douchebaggery, here are some thumb rules for managers:
- Spare us the territory-marking talk about how long you’ve been with the company and how the CEO is your drinking buddy. There’s no reason to feel threatened. Stop reciting your CV.
- Please don’t automatically assume that the ‘consultant’ is here to confirm all your gut-feelings about how you only need a brochure and a big heart to win over the communication landscape.
- Don’t forget: you’re not the center of everything. Consultants are experts i.e. they can separate the context and apply the science to your context. You are merely part of this context.
- Stop trying to rule from the boardroom. Intelligence, almost by definition, needs to be gathered and will seldom present itself on a platter. If can’t listen, go home.
- Stop thinking to yourself, “Hey, I can do communications!”. Just because you communicate or post on Facebook regularly, it doesn’t mean you can ‘do communications’. Just like taking a dump doesn’t automatically make you an expert on fecal bacteriotherapy.
- Stop drawing random logos at the back of your notebook. I will absolutely ignore your suggestions. Besides, a logo does not have to have people and communities in it. A logo is not a creative pursuit. It is an instrument; a tool.
- You cannot make a ‘viral video’. A well-made video that connects to its audience may or may not go viral. And no, I have nothing against cats on the internet
- No, you may not have your favorite celebrity in a promotional video or PSA. Not unless you have research or insights to back it up. Not even if its Mosharrof Karim.
- Don’t discard every idea that goes against ‘data’ or ‘learnings’ from other experiences. Your situation is unique and calls for unique solutions. Communications is at least as much about gut-feelings as it is about a precise science.
- No, your child’s drawing does not have a place in my work.
- If you think you can do my job, please stop stepping on my toes and muster up the decency and courage to say that to your superior. Submit a sample or two of your proclaimed skill.
Brilliant!
Hahaha …felt good.